There is no timestamp on trauma.

There isn’t a formula that you can insert yourself into

to get from horror to healed.

Be patient.

Take up space.

Let your journey be the balm.

 

The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.

 

I can’t apologize

for the why my trauma has changed me.

 

I am not home

for somebody else’s trauma.

 

Trauma isn’t what happens to you,

it’s what happens inside you.

 

Biggest trauma is when,

you have enough to say,

your heart is screaming,

but you decide to be silent.

 

You can’t heal from trauma

while you’re in an environment which feeds the trauma.

 

I wish I had a delete button in my life.

To delete some people, some memories, and some feelings.

 

Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response

and fear-based distraction

from what you’d be forced to acknowledge and feel

if you slowed down.

 

If you’re still helping people who hurt you,

you’re still in the trauma bond.

 

Trauma creates change you don’t choose.

Healing is about creating change you do choose.

 

Healing trauma is like peeling an onion.

Each layer I remove

reveals a new layer of memories and grief to process.

And it always makes me cry.

 

The most depressed people hide it the best, I kid you not.

They’ll talk about their darkness in the most casual,

humorous way possible.

 

Children don’t get traumatised because they get hurt;

they get traumatised because they’re alone with the hurt.

 

Trauma leaves “fingerprints” on the victim.

These don’t fade when the bruises do.

 

An unacknowledged trauma

is like a wound that never heals over

and may start to bleed again at any time.

 

Trauma compromises our ability to engage with others

by replacing patterns of connections

with patterns of protections.

 

Trauma can have a masking effect.

 

We don’t “get over” or “move on” from our trauma.

We are forced to make space for it.

We carry it.

We learn to live with it.

And, sometimes we thrive in spite of it.

 

Many trauma survivors hold their breath and their bodies tightly,

bracing themselves for whatever is coming next.

Staying alert for years takes a toll.

Create spaces where you can take your armor off.