Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

 

If you put an inspirational quote under your selfie

no one can see your narcissism.

 

You are so fake.

That even China denied they made you.

 

If you hate yourself,

remember that you are not alone.

A lot of other people hate you too.

 

Light travels faster than sound.

This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.

 

You sound better with your mouth closed.

 

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I liked it.

 

The stuff you heard about me is a lie,

I’m way worse.

 

I don’t hate you.

I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.

 

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

 

Tell me how I have upset you,

because I want to know how to do it again.

 

I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

 

Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you.

 

If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.

 

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.

 

I love sarcasm.

It’s like punching people in the face but with words.

 

I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.

 

Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.

 

I’m not always rude and sarcastic. Sometimes I’m asleep.